The good times spent together
I spent my childhood in Budapest, Hungary with my parents and my sister. My sister and I‘ve been in a close relationship. We always considered each other best friends too. When we were little we looked so alike that I remember many people used to ask our mother if we were twins. Of course, we were even dressed twinned and we went everywhere together. We were inseparable. There was a period later when we were apart for a long time, but eventually we “found each other” again. We’ve been caring and loving each other ever since.
It’s always heartwarming to think about my past family events and our trips. My paternal grandmother took us to Pápa town by train a few times. With her and her sisters we played Schnapser card game all night long. During the day we walked around the city. The beautiful pedestrian malls of Pápa are breathtaking and the time spent there was fantastic. Grandma taught me how to make derelye, Hungarian Filled Pasta. We use to make it together, which I still like to cook nowadays. She often took us out to the City Park together with our cousin. We played a lot and had a lot of fun. Grandma isn’t with us since 2010, but I think about her every day.
We spent our summer holidays in Forest Town with my maternal grandparents. With one of my dear friends who lived there, we spent a lot of time together. We were still small children, spent our day in the garden, ran around all day, played together and chatted a lot. She still lives in Forest Town. Unfortunately, life took us far away and I haven’t seen her in a long time, but we keep in touch. With my grandparents we visited my grandfather’s family in and around Komárom city several times. I remember, I was maybe six years old when my sister and I sang songs and recite poems to great-grandma and great-grandpa in kitchen. They were so happy about it. Later the whole family had lunch together and we enjoyed each other’s company. It was already a tradition at my grandfather’s that we went to Vác city once a year, which we always looked forward to. It was a good time, the city was amazing. We walked a lot. I remember we couldn’t wait to stop at our favorite place to eat cherry soup. These memories are so kind to my heart that I once took my son to Vác city. We walked around the same way as before with my grandpa and grandma. My grandparents live in Budapest, but as soon as the weather is good, they move out to their estate in Forest Town, where they usually stay until the end of the summer. I wish we could see each other more often! I miss them a lot.
Dad also surprised us with small trips many times. It was relaxing for him to spend time away from the city, he loved nature! We often drove to Lake Balaton, Lake Velence, visited many beautiful cities such as Gödöllő, Esztergom and Eger. We saw the Visegrád castle and went to climb the Rám Gorge. He was a great driver and took us to many places. I remember when we went to Nagytilaj village with one of his best friends. We stayed for some days for fishing. In the evening we prepared the fire pit in the garden and use to cook the fish together. Fishing was his favorite pastime and he loved us the most in the world.
The first obstacles
The reason for presenting these events is to share what happened to me. I would like others to see what I went through emotionally. To show that in the darkness possible find a little spark that shows you the way out. Just believe in it, stay strong, work for it and keep going, everything will turn out well in the end.
It was one of the most difficult periods of my life, I went through a lot of trials and traumas. At the age of twenty, due to family circumstances, I moved to my partner’s apartment in secret. Unfortunately, there was no way to discuss it. I wanted to leave the abusive environment. I longed for a peaceful life without abuse and I wanted to build my future with the person I love and have a family.
I got married and later in 2005 my beautiful son was born. He came into my life as the most wonderful gift and he means the world to me. This made a dream of mine come true. I always dreamed of getting married and use my husband’s name proudly. I wanted to have family and live in safety and love. I dreamed of such a calm and harmonious life, which I had not had the opportunity to experience before. I loved so much the time spent together with my son! I wanted to teach him everything I knew and to show him the world! We use to go on our little adventures and explored the city together while I told a lot of stories. But the constant daily harassment that befell us slowly began to poison our lives. When he started attending kindergarten, I finished my last year at school and passed my System Informatics exams. This time we had already a lot of negative influences, which unfortunately soon led to a divorce. We changed, we both needed different paths to step on and we couldn’t continue together. Sadly, my divorce also indirectly opened the door to other negative events. That was when I was at my weakest and most vulnerable. I also lost the protection of my house, so they used this opportunity and took the most precious thing from me. They shamed me, humiliated me, beat me and threw me away. I felt so devastated. This crime committed against us is unforgivable. I was completely on my own. After that, for many years, unilaterally setting up the events of the past, they ruined my reputation among other family members and acquaintances. I didn’t even have a chance to say what I think happened. But luckily I kept going and didn’t give up.
I gathered all my strength and moved on with my life. It was very difficult to find my first job, it took long time, I was struggling a lot. When finally I found a job it was so stressful because it was close to impossible to live on my salary. But I had some really awesome colleagues. We use to hang out together after work. However, the general workplace culture and behavior was quite toxic to me and I felt really bad in the office. These times were also made difficult by the fact that I was often forced to move to a new place. My friends welcomed me to their houses for longer or shorter periods, because I had nowhere to go. They helped and encouraged me a lot, without them I am not sure how would I survive. I appreciate it and I am very grateful to everyone who supported me and I’ll never forget it. They’re always there for me and I can thank them that they pushed me to continue and never give up. I’ve experienced a lot of painful moments, had many failures, from which I’ve learned a lot. Without these obstacles, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
Despite all the difficulties, this is when I received one of life’s greatest miracles. The weather was already very cold and there was no place for me to go. One of my friends found me on the street and invited me to his home. It was a rented room in an apartment where the owner lived in the other room. They were good friends. I was grateful for the help, but I felt vulnerable, lonely, alone, and afraid. The apartment owner’s girlfriend came to visit us. I was writing my poem “Egyedül a sötétben” (Alone in the dark) at the computer when this lovely lady approached to ask what I was doing. She was the first person I showed my poem to in a long time. She visited us often and we became friends. Over the years, this friendship has developed into a wonderful and mutual mother-daughter relationship. She is the one who always cares for me and she is the one I call mom. Mom always says, “My little girl, life doesn’t just take away from us, it always gives us something.” This is so true. Mom came into my life as a true blessing. She brought light into the darkness. She loved me when I had nothing as she loves and cares for me today too. I love her very much.
“Positive thinking is a valuable tool that can help you overcome obstacles, deal with pain, and reach new goals.”
– Amy Morin
An unexpected love
This happened back in 2007, the year of my IT studies. That’s when I filed for divorce. I often felt lonely at home. My classmate convinced me to play a multiplayer video game called Lineage II with him. In the beginning, I spoke English quite poorly. when I practiced to speak with my Portuguese friend, my past English studies helped a lot because my teacher taught the grammar very well. Thanks to my friend, I quickly became fluent in English. I’ve wanted this since I was a kid! This opened up the world to me. It was nice to be involved in social life again, even if it was only online. I made close friends with several of my fellow gamers who were from all over the world. It was nice to get to know them and we really enjoyed spending time together. The game was never important, but the relationships formed there. These friendships of mine were not considered real by many, since I did not have the opportunity to meet these friends in person, but our feelings were always real.
Although I wasn’t looking for it, one of my friendships in game somehow turned into love. At this time we’ve known each other online for four years, we were best friends, however haven’t seen even a photo of each other, we’ve only heard each other’s voices.
In 2011, I had already a slightly better life and lived alone in a rented apartment. We met in person for the first time in Budapest, however it didn’t feel like the first time, because by then we knew each other better than anyone else. Soon it became very difficult to maintain our relationship at such a long distance, so we decided to move in together in Czechia. We made this decision after much consideration, because here were more opportunities for both of us to make a good living and build a career. I needed a change in my life and an opportunity to build my future. I wanted to live in safety and happiness, so we started our journey together.
My life in Czechia
Moving to another country, although I was looking forward to it, was also a very difficult and terrifying decision. But I knew this is the right thing to do and the time confirmed, this was the right decision. I started this scary new adventure with a lot of wounds. Keeping distance from the loved ones is never easy, always painful. Whether due to death, moving, or conflict of interests, we are forced to separate from each other. Change is not easy for anyone, but it’s an unstoppable part of life. We always lose something from where we come from, but we find a lot of new things where we arrive. Just as I learned from my mother: “Life doesn’t just take away from us, it always gives us something.” Our healing begins when we accept ourselves and respect our own needs and desires, where the opinion of others is not authoritative, but our own. When we decide, we say goodbye to what our lives don’t need. We mourn it and confidently and courageously embark on the realization of our planned future.
I jumped into the new adventure full of excitement and fear. We moved to Veverská Bítýška, a small town north-west of Brno, in November 2011. In its mood, life there always reminded me of Forest Town. I was relieved because I felt safe and finally found home. My quality of life began to improve quickly and I was happy. We use to walk a lot in the forest around our house, went out to the river Svratka and traveled by boat to Brno and back countless times. I made new friends who I often visit in a lovely little village close to Brno. Soon they became family in my heart. I am so happy they are part of my life. As a result of hard work and a lot of time invested, in 2017 we bought our apartment in Brno without any parental help. I am very proud of this and one of my big dreams has come true.
The people are nice and the city is fabulous. The pedestrian malls of Brno still remind me of the summers when I travelled to Pápa town with my grandmother to visit her sisters. Brno is very calm and wonderful. I always like to hike in the forest, visit the nearby castles or go out to the Brno Reservoir by the Svratka River. This is our favorite “lakeside”, where we go to sunbathe and swim or even have a barbecue with the family and friends. I speak the Czech language quite well – not nearly fluently, but at least understandable – although I prefer to converse in English. I found a very good job where I built a career with great success I am proud of. I have been living in Czechia happily for 13 years and this country has become my new home.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.”
– Mark Twain